The Trinitarian Pattern of Love

Speaker 1 (Brian Mosley):

Hi, I’m Brian Mosley.

Our team at RightNow Media loves serving the church. We believe the mission of the church matters, and that unity in the church matters. Whether you’re watching this message alone or with your leadership team, we hope it encourages you.

In this session, Conway Edwards highlights the importance of community.

Speaker 2 (Conway Edwards):

The year was 1969. A young man named Bob Gore had a manufacturing plant where his organization consistently created containers. One day, he began experimenting, trying to figure out how to create a different kind of product. As he worked with the molecular pattern of the material, he discovered something that would change the world.

He created a material that allows water to go out, but not come in.

Today, the military uses it. Medics use it. Firefighters use it. Skiers use it. Everyone uses it. It’s called Gore-Tex, and it became a multi-billion-dollar industry—all because he changed the pattern and created a different product.

So if you don’t like the product, maybe you should change the pattern.

If you don’t like what you’re producing, it might be time to change the pattern.

In light of that, I want to share briefly from John 17. If you don’t like the outcome, change the order. Some might say, “I’m not a good student.” No—you just have bad study habits. Someone else might say, “I’m gaining too much weight.” No—you’re just eating late at night. Someone might say, “I live a hectic life.” No—you’re just always in a hurry. “I’m always broke.” No—you may need to change your spending habits.

If you don’t like what you’re producing, change the pattern.

In John 17—the upper room discourse—Jesus is speaking to His disciples before going to the Garden of Gethsemane. This is the longest prayer He prays to the Father. First, He talks about His relationship with the Father. Then He talks about His relationship with the disciples. Then He begins talking about us.

He says, “I’m not asking on behalf of these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their message—that they may be one, just as You, Father, are in Me and I am in You, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.”

Then He says, “The glory You have given Me, I have given to them, so that they may be one as We are one.”

There’s a pattern here you don’t want to miss.

It starts with intimacy. Then it moves to community. Then it leads to affinity—where the world is drawn to the love they see among believers.

So we have to ask: do we like the product we’re producing? If not, maybe we need to change the pattern.

Let’s walk through it.

First is intimacy. You can’t get to community until you’ve spent time in intimacy with God. Many believers and leaders neglect this. How do you know? Because you treat time with God as optional instead of essential.

When you’re not spending one-on-one time with Jesus, the Holy Spirit is still speaking—but you can’t hear Him. The more time you spend with Jesus, the more sensitive your heart becomes to His voice. The less time you spend, the harder it is to hear.

My concern is that many in the body of Christ are operating out of the flesh instead of the Spirit because they think they can do life and ministry without Jesus.

At our church, I often ask leaders, “What are you learning about God right now?” If the answer is nothing, that’s a problem—it means you’re not spending time with Him.

Everything flows from intimacy into your relationships.

You have rooms in your house for everything—TV, work, hobbies—but does Jesus have a space? Do your kids know there’s a place where you go to be alone with Him?

We’ve lost the practice of unhurried time with God. We’re no longer vulnerable before Him or fully submitted to His will. And then we wonder why we’re not walking in the Spirit.

It starts with you. If you miss intimacy, you can’t move to the next step: community.

Community reflects the nature of God—self-giving, self-sacrificing, and selfless. But you can’t live that way without time with Jesus.

If we can’t live this out in our marriages, how can we expect to live it out in groups? If we’re not selfless with our spouses, how will we respond when relationships get hard in community?

Here’s the challenge: many people focus on outward appearance but ignore the heart.

We look in the mirror and ask, “What do I need to fix on the outside?” but we rarely ask, “What do I need to fix on the inside?”

Because of that, things like greed, envy, and jealousy remain unchecked.

But real transformation starts within. We should be asking God daily, “What needs to change in my heart?”

If that’s not a daily practice, intimacy with God will fade—and without intimacy, everything else breaks down.

You can fake activity, but you can’t fake transformation. Eventually, people will see the difference.

Here's what we do all the time. All the time.

Why is intimacy a mess?

And why is Trinitarian relationships a mess? Here's why.

Because 3 billion people almost weekly do this.

Compare themselves. 3 billion.

And if you go to TikTok, one more billion compare themselves everywhere.

All we do, we don't even realize how powerful it is to us and how destructive it is to our personal relationship with God and to Trinitarian relationships.

But as if the enemy don't have a plan for you and me, it's not just a comparison.

'Cause at the root of it, there's something much deeper, much, much, much deeper.

And so if you're not careful, you will think, oh, I just want what they have. I just want the life they have.

But you look around and at the root of that, it's envy and jealousy.

And so how can you have Trinitarian relationship, when James chapter four says, the reason you have stripes among you is because you want what somebody else has.

So we just think it's comparison, but it goes deeper than that.

And that's not the end. It even goes deeper because the enemy has a bigger plan.

And here's his plan. Here's the enemy's plan, here's the enemy's plan.

He says, no, you think I want comparison. You think I just want to leave it there?

But really I want you to realize that your God is a big miser in the sky.

And really I'm trying to argue that your God owes you.

You're not feeling me. Let me help you out.

So there's some singles in a community group and you're sick and tired of one or another person getting married and you're not getting married. So you leave it there.

Then ultimately you say, God, I'm jealous 'cause I look better. I give more. I serve more and they get the dude. And I didn't get the dude.

But ultimately where the devil is taking you and I, he wants you to say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

God is your problem. It's not just that you're comparing.

Ultimately he wants you to despise God because you prayed and you're fasted and you said, God it's my turn now. It's my turn now.

And he still has no, you've even said, God gave me a word that says the word is, this is my year for breakthrough and I got this God.

You're lying on God by the way.

And then ultimately it doesn't work out. It's November and you're still not married yet.

And the question becomes, God, how could you be a good God and allow this to happen?

And it's destroying relationships.

And nobody in your community group knows you're not being selfless. You're not being self-sacrificing, you're not being self-giving.

Why? Because ultimately they have something that you don't have and you crave it.

But this is not on the surface. You have to dig deep down to see this one, that ultimately he's setting you up to despise God.

Okay? Okay, okay, lemme get another one.

I got some kids, but my kids are not as good as your kids. So my kids give me a hard time and I have to, I miss out on a lot because my kids take a little more work than the average kids.

So now I'm wondering, man, God, why don't have fun like those, look at 'em. They get to enjoy. Look at all their pictures on social, oh my God, what am I gonna do?

And then he moves from comparison to now he can envy us. We'll go a little deeper.

And now you get to the point where you're saying, God, what? Why do they get to enjoy life like that?

I'm sick and tired of seeing another photo with their perfect family, with all As, and they're all, they're just great.

And look at me, I can't even get to go to church sometimes because my kid's so bad.

And then ultimately you end up at a place where you saying, God, you owe me happiness.

Kids are supposed to be a blessing, but it don't feel like my kids are a blessing because of what you've done.

So now when you go to our life group, when you go to our community group, you can't even, you can't even be selfless, self-giving, self-sacrificing

because at the bottom of your soul, you think, God, you owe me.

You're not giving me what I really, really want.

Which really means God is only the guy that shows up in your life to meet your needs.

You exist so that God can meet your needs.

It's where we'd end up over time, which is why, by the way, people bail from church because they can't take that God would do that to them again and again and again. Ladies and gentlemen, that's how bad this thing has begun.

And then we move from there. We move from there to now, the last section on the first page, it simply says, hey man, we gotta, we gotta figure out how this results in affinity.

See, when you have intimacy and you have community, what you do is you're under the protective care of God.

And what's supposed to happen, you spend time with God every single day and you're hanging out with God every single day and you're pleading and you're savoring the beauty of Jesus.

And then you get in Trinitarian relationships and you're enjoying your community groups and life changes taking place all over the place.

And the world comes in and they see it and like, oh my gosh, can you really live like this?

And then people are like, can I get under the cover too?

And now they want, they're drawn because of your relationships.

Trinitarian relationships where we inconvenience ourselves for others.

And now they want to come under the protective care of the greatness of our God.

The relationship draws them to the body and to the faith.

But here's what it really looks like in the body of Christ. If you tell the truth, here's what it really looks like.

(congregation laughing)

God, I don't need you today. God, I can get this. I'm good. God, choose that. I don't need you today. God, I'm good.

Oh God, okay. I need you now.

I need thee now. I need thee now.

And so you get under the cover and then you go again, I don't need you, God. And oh, I need you now and then I don't need you. And then I need you now.

And the world says, why in the world do I want to be under your cover, the cover of the God that you say so great when it looks like this.

(congregation applauding)

Ladies and gentlemen, we have allowed the bride of Christ to devolve into something that the world does not want to be a part of.

And it's as a result of us prioritizing politics.

Lord have mercy over Christianity

or blackness, can I get in trouble just a little bit? I'm not gonna stay there long. I'm not gonna stay there long.

Or blackness over our faith.

Or whiteness over our faith.

We allow our music, I can't go to that church because their music, I don't do that music.

Because we're not selfless. We're not self-giving. And we're not self-sacrificing.

What we are is me first.

And if I'm not having fun, then I'm not for it.

I wonder if our faith could make it in third world countries anymore.

Or do you need the mighty United States of America to live out your faith?

Because it's the reason why so many people wanna have nothing to do with our God because they see a broken umbrella and they say, I don't wanna have nothing to do with that.

You can't even reach people who don't look like you.

Why would I? Why would I want to come to that?

When everything you do, I can do your marriages, they failing just like ours.

Everything you be doin'.

This sound like I'm beating y'all up. I'm not. It's okay. Calm down. Listen, listen, listen, listen.

Preach.

There is a reason they don't like the church anymore.

And I am telling you the pattern that the Father sets up for us in his conversation with Jesus is that if you prioritize oneness with him and then you let it flow into Trinitarian, selfless, self-giving, self-sacrificing relationships, then the world will not look at a church like this.

But they would look at a church like this and they would want, and they would crave to come under the covering of the man, Christ Jesus.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm saying this and then, and then I'm almost done. I'm saying sin, I'm almost done.

I was in Jamaica last summer and I found, I'm walking down this, this place called, a resort that we're at.

And a guy said, Hey pastor.

Now I don't like to go places and people know that I'm a pastor. Okay, anyways, parenthetical thought.

So he said, Hey pastor. And I looked at him, did not know him, didn't, he don't look like me. He completely different. He's actually Muslim.

And I said, Hey, hey, hey. What do you mean pastor? Who? What's your name?

And he tells me his name. I said, hey man, good to see you.

He says, you don't know me, but can I tell you a story?

I said, be my guest. What's up?

He says, six years ago, I've never been to a church before. And my wife said she wanted to go to a church.

So my wife went and she went to the church and she went for about six months.

And I saw a change in her and I decided, well, what the heck are they doing over there?

So then I said, well, I'm gonna come with you to make sure ain't nobody brainwashing you.

True story for real.

So then he started coming and he started coming.

And he said, I waited a whole year and I just watched what happened. I just wanted to see what the world, what what is happening here?

And he ultimately said, I've never seen a group of believers. First of all believers, period.

And then I've never seen a group of people that love each other like this.

And he said, so three years ago I gave my life to Christ.

And three years ago I decided I needed to be a Christ follower because I've never seen people in Trinitarian relationships like this.

And if this is what it means to follow Jesus, then I want some of that too.

His own family has to disown and want to have nothing to do with him because he decided to follow Jesus.

If the product is not working, then it's your job as a leader, as a lead volunteer to change the pattern.

Here's the pattern.

You spend time with God, you have oneness with God.

You disciple others, 90%, 90% of people in the church are being disciple.

You spend time with God, you teach others how to spend time with God so that this, so that this intimacy can be normal in our churches.

And then you move outta there into Trinitarian relationships.

Relationships where where you exist to be self-giving, self-sacrificing and selfless.

What does that mean? That means you bring somebody.

About four years ago we brought somebody into our house because our marriage wasn’t working.

And we said, hey, come on, you gotta live with us, you and your kids.

You gotta live with us for exactly three months.

Because we gotta teach you how to love each other, because you clearly don’t, by the way.

And these are sadiddy people. Oh, sadiddy means they fancy or like they have a lot of money, okay?

They’re like one’s a physician, one’s an engineer, and they don’t know how to love each other.

So we gotta bring them in the house.

It inconvenienced everybody.

But if that’s not the body of Christ, what is?

If that is not the body of Christ, what you wanna do, just send them to counseling?

They’re gonna go once a year for four years and it’s still gonna be like, yeah, but when I come home she still treat me like dog, so I’m done, I’m done, I’m done.

And so you have to teach them and show them and model for them what it looks like to love like Jesus loves.

And when you see that kind of relationship, all I’m asking you to do is just remember it starts Psalm 133.

It starts David talking about unity.

It starts with oil flowing down Aaron’s beard.

We’re just starting from above.

And then the unity continues all the way down.

All I’m asking you to do—it starts with oneness, then it goes to Trinitarian relationships.

And if you don’t feel it, it’s not Trinitarian.

Let me say that again.

If the relationships in your community group is just gooey and great and you don’t feel nothing and you don’t have to sacrifice nothing and you don’t have to be—it’s not Trinitarian.

What it is is you just selected people that were so much like you that you only wanted people who are like you so you can go to the country club together, your kids can go to the same games together, you can go to the college basketball games together.

We can just have fun in our little bubble.

It’s so cool, but this is not what it is.

Anybody can do that.

What they can’t do is to love sacrificially, consistently over time when it costs us like it cost to him.

If we’re going to be the church where people say I gotta get some of that, then we’ve got to say, follow the pattern.

What’s the pattern?

It starts with intimacy.

And then it moves to community.

And then from community where we go? Affinity.

That’s exactly right.

The world should say I need some of that.

And if they’re not, then we need to change the pattern.

I have one more thing and then I’m done. I’m done.

My time’s up, I’m done. Don’t worry about the notes.

I do it every week. I will never finish the notes.

Every week you come—no, church, every week—I got two sides.

I’m be like yeah, that was just to keep your attention.

I’m done. I got props I never use.

Just go.

Just say what was that one for—a distraction so you can stay focused.

That’s all it was.

I’m done. Come on, I gotta go.

Listen, fam, God’s writing a story in your life.

He’s writing a story and He wants to—He’s writing this incredible story about through you and what He wants to do through you.

He wants to change lives.

He wants to influence others.

He wants to use you in ways you have no idea yet.

But it demands oneness.

And it demands Trinitarian relationships.

And then you’ll get to watch the affinity take place.

The biggest mistake you can make, especially my young leaders today, is to look at what God is doing in somebody else’s story.

And He’s writing their story, and you’re saying to God, God, why are you not writing my story like their story?

And what you must be careful about in ministry is that you’re not lusting after what God’s doing in somebody else’s life.

Because here’s what you often have a tendency to do.

You have a tendency to take a leaf out of their story and try to put it in your story.

And the whole world know that isn’t your story.

And then what some of us so stubbornly do is we try to fit it.

And the world can see that ain’t your story, bro.

Everybody know it ain’t your story except you.

You the only fool walking around, yeah, look at what the Lord has done.

He’ll be like, no bro.

That’s like David with Goliath’s armor trying to force something into a story that’s not there.

I want you to be who God’s calling you to be.

It starts with intimacy.

It moves, flows effortlessly into Trinitarian relationships.

And then the world would say I want some of that.

If you’re here today and recommitting yourself to saying to Jesus, Jesus, will you help me become the kind of individual that spends time with you—intimacy, vulnerability, honored time with God daily—

and then move from that into Trinitarian relationships of being selfless, self-giving, self-sacrificing—and then that’s all we can do.

And then God has to do the drawing of the world to come to our churches so that they no longer say I want to have nothing to do with you.

But they’re open and saying something different is there.

My wife today—today she went to work and she said to me, Conway—and she’s crying—she says half my job are crying over the elections. They’re crying, they’re weeping.One’s a gay guy, one’s trans, and they’re all weeping. And she says, how does the church love these people?

They’re planning to move, I’m done, I’m going to Mexico, I’m done.

And their whole identity was wrapped up into politics.

But the church—what do we have to say about that in our tight little buildings?

What do we have to say when somebody come in and they have no clue, they don’t even want to be anything like us, but they want to explore?

Are you gonna say, not the church for you?

Don’t want your kids with my kids?

Or are you gonna be the love?

Are you gonna love and have a Trinitarian relationship with people that think so far away from what we believe?

But if we don’t, who will?

How do you maintain the tension of a gay couple serving in our parking lot—and they’re serving and they’re the most boisterous—and still loving them along the way? How do you do it?

And I don’t need you to change. I’m just glad you feel comfortable coming in the house. And just walk with them, just like when you had your poor sins. And it don’t change overnight. But it goes through a process as well.

Father, will you help this body of believers?

Will you help us have the heart of the Father?

Will you teach us how to be one so that the world would say—I’m not convinced I believe what they believe, I’m not convinced I should even do what they do, but man, they love people well.

Will you teach us how to do that?

Will you teach us how to get off of our pharisaic mind sometimes and just love?

When we were sinking deep in sin, you came after us.

When somebody else is sinking and they’re saying will you help us—will you help us to extend the hand even though it’s messy?

Will you help us to extend the hand?

Because the only hope they have is the man Christ Jesus.

We pray this in Jesus’ name.

Everybody said amen.

Love you guys.

Thanks so much. Appreciate it.

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